Here are some of our case studies and testimonials.
Parent Effectiveness Training
Tracy was concerned about the family dynamic at home. She had a new partner, a son from a previous relationship and a new baby girl. Her partner and son did not get along and constantly vied for her attention. She felt like the proverbial meat in the sandwich! After attending PET, Tracy began to use her new active listening skills rather than defending either her partner or son when they came to complain about the other. She began to step out of the middle and mediate through their differences instead. The result was that both parties felt heard, their emotions settled and peace was brought into the household.
Mary works as a case manager in a social work setting for a Melbourne outreach program now helping other parents cope with their challenges. She also has a holistic counselling background. Parenting was not always easy for Mary and here she describes her own parenting experience…
“As a parent I was struggling to get my children aged 10 and 4 even to do the simplest of things such as getting out of bed in the morning. With my eldest it was a yelling session and I was tired before I even left the house each day. A couple of friends recommended the Parent Effectiveness Training course and in April 2003 I attended a program which was one evening a week for eight weeks.
During the sessions I learnt about behaviour and how in many instances I was not communicating with my children but using my “power” over them. This was not the way I wanted to parent my children and I was excited to learn tools to assist me to get along better with my children.
We learnt listening skills, how to sort out who owns the problem, how to recognise when a child has a problem, assertiveness skills and problem solving and conflict resolution. I also gained an understanding of how children don’t “misbehave” but simply put, are only trying to get their important needs met. I also discovered how I had created communication ‘roadblocks’ which prevented me from being effective with my children.
The program has had a very positive effect in my relationship with my children. The morning situation has greatly improved and I am able to talk instead of yell. Sometimes things are now done without my asking. It has created a much calmer atmosphere and I am sure that because of doing P.E.T. it will continue to have positive impacts as my eldest child approaches the challenging puberty years. P.E.T. has also improves my relationships with other family members and friends and given me much more confidence.
PET has impacted positively in every part of my life and I use the skills learnt everyday in my workplace. How I managed my caseload beforehand I just don’t know!
I just wanted to email and say thank you so much for introducing me to PET. It has really saved my family! (Carol – Canberra)
As a parent I was struggling and dreading getting ready in the mornings for school and work. I learnt how I was not communicating with my children but using my “power” over them. The program has had a very positive effect in my relationship with my children and now sometimes things are done without my asking. Mary (Melbourne)
I put off being a parent until I was 40 as I was so scared of messing it up. I wanted to be able to parent differently from the way I was parented and I wanted my child to grow up confident and secure. I felt that there must be a better way to parent from the traditional methods and I wanted to find out what they were.
I scoured the Melbourne’s Child magazine for an advertisement for parent training and found a small advertisement amongst the multitude of advisements and signed up for parent training when my child was only 3 months old.
I found that even at such a young age learning the skills from the course enabled me to speak to my child differently and I got a noticeably different responses. When my child grizzled while I changed his nappy instead of telling him to shhh, I used active listening and said, ‘you are not really enjoying having your nappy changed’ and he quietened. I also understood that annoying behaviours from my child were simply a result of him trying to get his needs met. Once I understood this I was able to help him get his needs met and he stopped his annoying behaviour.
When the terrible twos and threes came along I was able to manage most situations without resorting to punishments that I felt were unfair and involved force or removing favourite toys.
I feel that I have a wonderful relationship with my son and the majority of the time I really enjoy his company. He seems very respectful of me and others and I am hoping that the good relationships and patterns developed while he is young will enable him to trust me as he becomes a teenager. I feel that I am in a good position to ‘avoid being fired my son when he becomes a teenager’. Jenny (Melbourne)
We are currently living in Beijing and I was fortunate to find a parenting course being run by an Australian woman also based in Beijing. As I took my P.E.T. Course, I started noticing changes within myself and in my daughter. She responded to all the skills as I learned them and put them into practice. Our problems became less and less. Through the new skills I was learning, I was able to improve our relationship; we learned to be honest and have an open relationship. I started trusting her more, and in return she did the same. She changed a lot and became more aware of our needs as parents, as well as other people’s needs, as we became more aware of hers. We all became more trusting and trustable. Throughout the course, I was able to learn a lot about myself, listen to myself and my feelings and needs; I learned to communicate them assertively, in a way that they would listen to me.
Everyone around me began doing the same thing. I learned to breathe and calm down, active-listen to myself and change my own behaviours. The changes throughout the months were very obvious, and my family was happier and healthier by the week. Our family is now based upon open and honest communication, respect for each other’s feelings, needs and ideas, and we look for solutions together; solutions that will make all of us happy. There is still conflict, like in any relationship; however, the way we deal with conflict leaves, most of the time, no hurtful feelings.
Having seen all this changes in myself, my daughter and the way our loved ones began interacting with us, and by role-modelling I was helping my friends too; they learned a lot just by seeing us interact.
I was very excited when I learned that I could become an instructor myself; I really wanted to share the P.E.T. approach with as many parents as possible, “spread the word” and show them that there was another parenting method out there, P.E.T., which had changed our lives In the best possible way…. and for good. Cindy (Beijing)
Find out more about Parent Effectiveness Training…
Be Your Best – Personal Empowerment
Find out more about Be Your Best…
Teacher Effectiveness Training
Find out more about Teacher Effectiveness Training…
Peer Mediation Course
Find out more about Peer Mediation…
Conflict Resolution Course
Find out more about Conflict Resolution…