LITTLE GIRLS CAN BE MEAN by Michelle Anthony & Reyna Lindert

A book review by Robert Periera

The intrigue of ‘girl-world’ for the five to ten years age group, is developed in this text, with case stories that all parents will be able to identify with.  The model promoted by the authors to assist parents to deal with the social complexities their daughters are immersed in, is the PET model although they do not specifically mention PET by name.  They speak about the ‘FOUR STEP’ process.  These Four Steps mention and develop all the skills taught in a PET course.

The Four Steps are:

  • Observe
  • Connect
  • Guide
  • Support to Act

Under ‘observe’ they speak about ‘reading the cues’ (non-verbal and verbal) when the child is interacting with other girls; whether the girl is submissive or dominant in her relationships with her peers.

Under ‘connect’ they speak about ‘active listening’ and provide some examples of AL for each of the complex cases described.  How to active listen when the child comes to the parent with a problem.  The authors also discuss how to proceed when the child does not come to the parent directly.  So the I-message and shifting gears feature here.

Under ‘guide’ they promote ‘problem-solving’ (Method-III) and consultancy when it is appropriate to provide an alternative way of thinking about situations.

Under ‘support to act’ the practical implementation of the Method-III conversation is developed for each of the scenarios described.  How to assist the child to speak to her peers about the social dilemma she finds herself in, how to be assertive as the drama unexpectedly unfolds for the child, reflects much of what we teach in a BYB course as well.

As I read this text, with my PET glasses on, I thought that it would be an invaluable resource for instructors.   I have produced (in card form) one of the scenarios from this resource.   It is called ‘Crazy Socks Day’ which can be procured for $ 5.00 + postage.    Also available is a 4-column Grid showing the relationship between the 4-Steps and the PET Course.   (As this grid is in landscape format, those who wish a copy might email me.)  The text is also available from me @ $28.95 + postage.

NEW ROLE PLAY – Crazy Socks Day
Card Set @ $ 5.00 + postage.
5 cards with parent role / 5 child role for use in Sessions 6 or 7 – Method III
To order: robertpereira32@bigpond.com
Cheque payable to: ETIA Ltd

Robert Pereira About the author: I have been teaching PET and TET since 1977 all over Australia as well as Papua New Guinea. Over the years, I have developed a PET course for Young parents with Children aged between 0 and 6 years, for single-parents, and pregnant teenagers.Once I discovered PET in 1977, it has remained one of the most productive and exciting things in my repertoire. I am always looking for better and more interesting ways of teaching this course, and to apply the skills to contemporary issues that parents are facing today. People often comment on the realism in the role play scenarios offered in the training and can hear their own children come through. ‘We only had this same situation occur two days ago’ said a dad. I travel around Australia, training teachers to address the growing problem of School Bullying in an educational manner, as well as providing parents with a deeper understanding as to ‘why children bully.’ I authored a parent and teacher resource titled ‘Why We Bully’ which is the result of over 5,000 lessons with children and teenagers over the years. I have sought to apply PET and TET skills to the many contemporary issues facing parents and teachers of today, and developing these Effectiveness Training courses to address these issues. Hence, this PET programme, which was originally development just over 50 years ago, remains as relevant today as it did in 1962.I am able to travel to the outback to offer PET courses to isolated communities.

6 comments… add one
  • Whether you’re the parent of a young child or a teenager, it’s a challenging job–and one that requires training and skills to do well. P.E.T., Parent Effectiveness Training, is a program that offers parents the specific communication and conflict resolution skills it takes to build and maintain effective relationships with children, in any and all circumstances. P.E.T. is not just bits and pieces of useful information and it doesn’t pretend to be a quick-fix. It’s a complete model and learning it gives parents the chance to become experts themselves in dealing with the inevitable problems that come up in all parent-child relationships. And we know it works. It’s been tested and proven around the world for the past 44 years.

    Reply
  • P.E.T., or Parent Effectiveness Training, began almost forty years ago as the first national parent-training program to teach parents how to communicate more effectively with kids and offer step-by-step advice to resolving family conflicts so everybody wins. This beloved classic is the most studied, highly praised, and proven parenting program in the world — and it will work for you. Now revised for the first time since its initial publication, this groundbreaking guide will show you:How to avoid being a permissive parentHow to listen so kids will talk to you and talk so kids will listen to you How to teach your children to “own” their problems and to solve themHow to use the “No-Lose” method to resolve conflictsUsing the timeless methods of P.E.T. will have immediate results: less fighting, fewer tantrums and lies, no need for punishment. Whether you have a toddler striking out for independence or a teenager who has already started rebelling, you’ll find P.E.T. a compassionate, effective way to instill responsibility and create a nurturing family environment in which your child will thrive.

    Reply
  • The P.E.T. program was developed by Gordon Training International and is delivered in over 40 countries today. Dr. Thomas Gordon has been nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize twice. The book has sold millions of copies world wide and has been translated into over 20 foreign languages. Connection between parent and child is enhanced by learning the skills in this seminar. P.E.T. provides families with confidence, healthy self-esteem, emotional intelligence, open communication, problem-solving skills, assertiveness, empathy and increased co-operation in their relationships. Most of all, families re-discover peace in their homes and joy in living together.

    Reply
  • The P.E.T. program was developed by Gordon Training International and is delivered in over 40 countries today. Dr. Thomas Gordon has been nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize twice. The book has sold millions of copies world wide and has been translated into over 20 foreign languages. Connection between parent and child is enhanced by learning the skills in this seminar. P.E.T. provides families with confidence, healthy self-esteem, emotional intelligence, open communication, problem-solving skills, assertiveness, empathy and increased co-operation in their relationships. Most of all, families re-discover peace in their homes and joy in living together.

    Reply
  • P.E.T., or Parent Effectiveness Training, began almost forty years ago as the first national parent-training program to teach parents how to communicate more effectively with kids and offer step-by-step advice to resolving family conflicts so everybody wins. This beloved classic is the most studied, highly praised, and proven parenting program in the world — and it will work for you. Now revised for the first time since its initial publication, this groundbreaking guide will show you:How to avoid being a permissive parentHow to listen so kids will talk to you and talk so kids will listen to you How to teach your children to “own” their problems and to solve themHow to use the “No-Lose” method to resolve conflictsUsing the timeless methods of P.E.T. will have immediate results: less fighting, fewer tantrums and lies, no need for punishment. Whether you have a toddler striking out for independence or a teenager who has already started rebelling, you’ll find P.E.T. a compassionate, effective way to instill responsibility and create a nurturing family environment in which your child will thrive.

    Reply
  • If you are a parent struggling with your children, the issue of parent effectiveness training will give you a deeper understanding of what the true issues are.

    Reply

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